In The Woods

In the woods
Zombies in the trees
Wild hogs eat the zombies
Hoss and Little Joe run
The zombies are on their trail
The six gun is empty
Hop-Sing jumps out with a Bowie knife
You damn zombies leave the Ponderosa alone.

Bonanza Style

Hoss and Little Joe
Preaching women yell
Wild gang of men
Strange town is it not
The saloon has a weird smell
The bartender is shook
There is a wild cat on the loose
A runaway wagon
A massive train
And a crazy well digger.

Analysis of Hoss Eating

Hoss eats,
Throwing food in his mouth with a fork,
Food like mashed potatoes and gravy
He eats like a hungry dog
Hop-Sing is upset at the amount he eats.
It is amazing
The kitchen is running out of food.
Little Joe laughs.

Hoss Loses Hat

Hoss has lost his hat
Thirty gallons worth
It is wandering alone in the sand dunes
We have named it Bucket Hell
Ole Bucket Hell was made of beavers
It was a historic event
The casting of that hat
The liberty bells were rang.

Hop-Sing is a Madman

Hop-Sing is a mad cook
He just threw an egg at Hoss face
Little Joe is out with that gypsy woman again
He was shot yesterday five times
What the hell!
They done worked up a hate in Virginia City
Call for Judge Parker
Tell him to call the Doc
Let the Doc know he needs to send a telegraph
Out to Fort Stockton.

Virginia City

The Italians are out at the Ponderosa
Little Joe is staying with the gypsy woman
When is Ben Cartwright coming back
Call in Candy
Tell him I need a stemboat
We will drive it around Lake Tahoe
Look we could see an Elvis Presley show
Hoss get off your fat horse.

The Ponderosa

Ben Cartwright owns this country
Keep those gypsys off my place Hoss
And Little Joe stop dancing
Hoss your just fat
Damn they took my water rights
There comes another train
I have to buy a steamboat
The Ponderosa is right over those mountains.

Ben and Jo and the Tahoe

Oh Hell,
Ben Cartwright has been shot in the leg
Little Jo get the posse together
The man was danger
His brother was trouble
In the wild Nevada wind he travels
Ben stay at your Poderosa
Buy a steamboat
And ride around Lake Tahoe.

Little Joe with Broken Arrow

Oh your pain Little Joe
Arrow in your breast
From a wild Commanche Moon
Your wild pinto rides
Into the barren ground
Leave the whisky in the wagon
I need it not
The pain will be the pain
Arrow in my heart
From the wild Commanche Moon.

Little Jo and Hoss Surrounded

They done worked up a hate last night
A mob has formed up the creek
They will be here by noon
Lock those two in the old prison
Aint nothing gonna be left of this town
If that mob works up a good hate
This is a bitter pill
It sure is Little Jo, it sure is.
Send for the Doc.

Big Hat Cowboy Man

Big hat cowboy man
Ride the range slowly
There are bandits here.
Hide behind desolate rocks
Fire your rifle and pistol
Until the bullets are gone
Then wait for the Little Joe to save you.
Hoss you are a rugged one
With a large hat
Tell Hopsing I will be late for dinner.
Tell Pa Im close to an ambush.

Little Green Jacket

Little Joe with his bright green jacket
With his speckled pinto he rides
Into the western sky
Looking for a lost calf
Searching for water to drink
The thirst.
Oh the thirst.
Where is my brother Hoss?
There is a gypsy every mile.

Tired of Zombies

The Zombie poems will end today at 2:37pm
Everyone is singing Zombie Christmas songs
It is just to much.
We will switch to poems about Bonanza instead.
Hoss, Adam, Little Joe, and Ben Cartwright
We will not leave out Hopsing and Candy
All your favorite Bonanza poems to come
Tune in and drink coffee.